Searchings for self: Being Single

So much of my life has been spent in looking for "the one." I have exhausted so much energy on seeking a wife that I have come to see it as a complete waste of time. Some would argue against this but I would ask you to bear with me while I expound on this statement in light of the Cross.

To think in such a way as to believe that I can, in and of my own power, choose the best person for me to marry is an absolute absurdity. I am in a fallin state and can in no way trust my own heart. Jeremiah 17:9 say's, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Proverbs 21:2 say's this, "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the heart." How do I even create the attitude and belief that I know whats best for me. How can I map out my life with the assureence that I am headed down the right path. The problem lies in that we hold the belief that Christ Jesus allows freedom in this area of our life instead of absolute surrender. There is freedom but only on the grounds of His word and plan reason.

So here in lies the problem with believing that I can do whatever and whenever I think I am ready. I am going to attack this from many different angles and the first is worry. Okay, You may be saying to youself "why is he talking about worry?" That is a very good question and with God's grace I will seek to answer that question. Another title for this could be "The Glory of God in Being Single." Notice I'm not trying to give myself "Dating Tips."

Martin Luther had something to say about worry and to paraphrase what he said it was basically this: worry is when you think you know whats best and God is going to mess the situation up. Persuing a relationship with a sister, in Chirst, before the feelings are allowed to flow naturally and freely through the confinds of marraige allows sin to crep in and destroy the soul. Worry is not a sin that should be taken lightly. Thomas Watson said this, "There are no sins God's people are more subject to than unbeleif and impatience. They are ready either to faint through unbelief, or fret through impatience." You might ask the question "how does worry, unbelief, and impatience fit together?" I think that where worry is, unbelief and or impatience are at the root. When you don't stand on the promises of God (such as Psalm 84:11 "For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.") and just allow your fellings to go and run where they please, worry will be their banner. When there is a promise clearly seen and the action is begging God to hurry up and fullfill it, there will be impatience and taking things out of the hands of God which always brings worry to the forefront. If worry is the path taken then there is a clear sign of immaturity and a clear signal to grow in grace a bit longer.

Another angle to view this is from an angle of perfect harmony. I think I will call it "the holywood factor." It seems that so many of our convections, whether spoken or acted, are based off of what we have grown up with. I am tried of everybody and their cousin worried about my relationship status on facebook!

The biggest lie in our society is that love is something that is found. I admit that there is an element of attraction that draws two pople together but that attraction quickly withers when faced with all the querks that each individual posses. I submit to you that love is not a dancing in the rain experience or a raised leg kiss but a deep and passionate commetment to first the Lord Jesus and secondly to each other and devoting each others life to serving the other. There is no biblical truth to stand on and believe that love is going to come knocking on your door one day and drop off the love of your life. Our love for the Lord Jesus will draw us into a relationship with somone that will far exceed any lie hollywood or pornography could ever create. This is not something that should be rashly rushed into. Just because Billy likes Betty but if Billy is not quick Bobby is going to beat him to Betty. Does anybody else have a peoblem with the fact that our view of relationship is so low and dispecible in light of the cross. We hold that if two people "love" or like each other then they should date to "see if it will work." We hold marriage so losly that more than half the marriages that take place with those that claim Christ as their Lord end in divorce. THIS IS PATHETIC!!! Is our generation going to follow the lead of our parents and just lay down the covenent made to God and to our partner just beause I am tired of the way they tie their shoes. I saw a perfect sign on the side of the rode the other day that shows how loosely we hold marriage. It was an advertising for an agency that promises, "Divorce, without the drama." No one breaks a covenant without hurting or being hurt!

God cares so much about marriage that it can be found in the second chapter of the very fist book of the bible and the very last chapter of the very last book of the bible. Oh yes beloved, God cares about what a ugly picture we are painting of such a sacred and charished covenant. God cares for marriage so much that it is the picture that points people to His Son's sacrifice (Eph 5:25-27). This is the ultimate reason God created marriage. It was not only for pleasure but for the advance of the gospel. This is why marraige is such a big deal and should not be sought as if its a game to find the hottest girl before someone else gets her. This is not a game where you put notches in your bed post every time you get into her pants. GOD FORBID that I would treat a daughter of the Most High God like a piece of livestock that I pick out to breed. God forgive us for holding lightly marriage! Hebrews 13:4 say's, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."

So now that I have vented on a few issues that really get under my skin and cause me to be anything but gentle I would like to talk, for a few sentences, about what the subtitle states: The Glory of God in Being Single. This is a hard and sobering topic for me to write about for I do not fully understand how this all works but by the grace of God we will search out some reasons why God is most glorified when we embrace our sigleness instead of running around looking for a realationship to comfort us.

My brothers I do not dare say that I have complete knowledge of this. Nor would I ever admit to having no faults in my writings. My goal is that the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart will be acceptable to My Jesus!!(Psalm 19:14)

While single I have a unique opportunity to pour my passion into growing in grace and knowledge of the Lord God almighty. I have freedom from responsibilities that come with marriage. This freedom must not be spent on seeking self pleasure by pursing my lust of all sorts. This will ultimately bring a lack of contentment and allow for sin to build siege towers against my heart. May I not waste my single status!!!

Being single allows me to serve the body of Christ, my family, and friends in ways that will ultimately grow me into a mature man ready to take on the resposiblities of my own family. I have time to work and save money or time to read books that will guide me into a deeper undersatnding of the grace of God given to us. The list goes on and on.

The picture I am trying to paint is one that will allow us to see how much can be gained from embracing our single status. This hour of our life is ultimately for the glory of God!! How can we neglect such a great opportunity as this? How can we discard all that is gained from growing closer to our Lord Jesus? Will I be one who expends all my energy on finding the "one" or will I grab a hold of grace and spend His energy(Colossians 1:29) "in admiring, exploring, expositing, and extolling Jesus Christ"(Sinclair Ferguson) our Lord and Great High Priest who was, who is, and who is to come!!!!

Passion for the Lord Jesus will not diminish my desire for marriage but it will place it in its rightful context and allow His strength to flow through me and keep me from my former passions of indulging in immorality. As with all parts of life; marriage must only be looked at through the lens of the Cross and thus allow Jesus to be Lord over it. May I not be one who wastes my singleness and in so doing may I not be one that wastes my marriage!!