Searchings in Mark 2: 13-17

He went out again beside the sea, and all the crowd was coming to him, and he was teaching them. And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, "Follow me." And he rose and followed him. And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, "Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?" And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."



Sometimes I just feel like quitting. Sometimes I just want to run to my lusts and selfish desires. Sometimes I want to just lay down and die. There are times when I just want to lay down and sleep for days just so I will not have to fight my flesh. There are times when I hate reading the bible and there are days when I just say "forget it! I'm not reading!" There are days when my sin is so overwhelming that I can't imagine even being a follower of Jesus. I become so selfish some days that I cant think of any scripture to alleviate my thoughts. When I lay down to sleep I find myself drifting between fantasy and reality. When I seek to honor the Lord and do good I find that there is always sin in my intentions. Basically I am SICK!!! I am desperate! My sinfulness is so plan to see that some days I am incapacitated and then other days I walk around like a zombie, just going through the motions: wake up, brush teeth, eat, brush teeth, sleep........ O yes!!! I see that I am desperately sick!!!

How kind these words are to my ears! How sweet the fragrance is to my senses! I scarcely doubt that there have ever been better words penned. These words bring Hope and Peace. These words grab our attention and our affections. How sweet they are. Jesus Christ, the only true God in the flesh, came to be crushed under the wrath of God on the Cross, becoming sin who new no sin. God who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, o how will He not give us all things!!!! CHRIST CAME TO SAVE SINNERS!!!!!! Of whom I am the foremost!

I confess my need! I confess that I am desperately sick, beyond hope of being revived (apart from the Grace of God). I am a sinner and I embrace it!! I cling to the truth that there is nothing good in me. I am worthless in and of my self. My thoughts are sick! My actions are sick! My dreams are sick! I am a SINNER... and I embrace it! Christ came to save sinners.... If I do not embrace my inadequacy to obtain righteousness by my own works then there is truly no hope for me, for I still see myself as righteous. It is only when I come to grips that I am a sinner that I can be saved. Light must shine into the darkness of my heart to reveal how truly ugly I really am; the light comes from the gospel message of Jesus Christ. By Gods grace I am able to see this and in response to this ugliness I look for someway to clean myself because I know that I was not able to do so by my own power. I need a Savior and then I see Jesus. O how beautiful the savior is! In my ugly sinfulness I see the light of the Savior's righteousness and I know that he came to save sinners therefore I rest in the truth of the Saviors words that He "came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

I am a sinner.... and I am so thankful because the more I see my sinfulness, the more beautiful the Savior becomes to me. I need you Jesus!!!