Subtle Worry

Im a man that prides himself of being carefree and worry free . Well pride does come before the fall and maybe pride is the reason I have not seen the evidences of worry. I know that we all worry but because of the life the Lord has had me live I have learned to trust Him in crazy ways. I know He will take care of all that comes against me and that He will lead me into His purpose for creating me. He is the sovereign ruler of life and holds all things together. I trust, believe, and I am truly confident that my Lord Jesus Christ will never leave nor forsake.

How did worry creep up on me? How did it capture my desires and turn them against me. Not only did it capture my desires but it also stole masculinity from me. Not in the way of chopping wood, hauling hay, or lifting weights but in the way of being bold for the Gospel and living a life worthy of the Gospel. Living that life is where true masculinity, and femininity, is found and sin, worry in this instance, held it captive in my life. Its crazy for me to think that something, that has been to me, so small has brought down the very wall of my strength and lead me away from the foundation of my being with a subtlety that is haunting. I guess it truly is the little foxes that spoil the vine.

If you are one like me that wants to live the life God has called them to and live it in the place He has called you to then listen to His command to us, "Go!" And as you go "make disciples". Simple? Yes. Sin takes us away from the simplicity of the gospel. And worry is sin. James tells how this progression takes place,

"14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." - James 1:14,15

Our desire to know Gods plan can lead us down this path to death because in our desire to walk in His will we forget it is a walk by Faith. In our desire to know we become like so many examples in scripture and we try to tell God what the best plan for our life is. Ultimately worry says, "That I am in control and I do not need God". In the simplest ways and in the in the most passionate pursuits we all can fall into the trap of worry or we can obey the Great Commission and go and make disciples that will observe all things Christ has taught.

If you, like me, need another reminder for the need for grace I do not think it can get any more obvious than the subtle danger of worry. For those of us that are not worriers, not anxious, it is very clear that we, though this sin is not outwardly expressive in us, are in more danger than the drunkard, lier, and thief. My dear reader, do not allow death to creep up on your heels and swallow you with a final move of subtle worry.



"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:25-33 ESV)"

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6, 7 ESV)"

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. (1 Corinthians 16:13 ESV)"

At The Lord's Table

The sight of His blood of sin it reeks
The broken body crying out with grief

Crushed by His Father indeed was He
The spotless Lamb atonement He brings

Feel the healing as it flows
Down from the cross skin unfolds

A broken body never before seen like this
The cry of the cross God's wrath it stills

A river deep and wide
Crimson it flows from the Savior's side

The full cup of wrath He drank
From the cup of salvation now we drink

Never before has love been displayed like this
A Father exchanged His Son for the enemies of His

Sin stands in the way of His love
Give Me My child in the thunder is heard.

Song: Our God Is Anong Us

(1st vs)Our God is among us/ pour out your heart to Him/ because He hears, He hears/ the ransomed of heaven/ call upon His name/ because He hears, He hears/(chorus) our God is not deaf/ He has not turned away His ear/ He is not slow to answer/ when prayer is according to His will/(2nd vs)You can call upon the Lord/ you can cry out and He will say/ I AM here/ I'm here/ There is no confession/ there is no sin/ that would keep Him from hearing/ hearing His friend/(chorus)/(bridge) who is like the Lord/ He's matchless in power/ there's no other Name/ that's been given all the power/(3rd vs- 2X) who can find the end/ to the immeasurable greatness of His power/ toward us who believe/ o believe!

Searchings for self: Life

Life... Who is it? Where is it? What is it? Can it be reasoned in the depths of philosophy? Can it be found in the passions of theology? Are we left to figure it out on our own? Is there a perfect mold? Can it even be said that someone lived a perfect life? How and when can this be? Is it automatic or pursued? Can life be lived simply or does it have to be lived extravagantly? Who is it that decides what it means to truly live?

Where has my love gone?

Where has my love gone? It has faded from the most beautiful of days and been replaced by the darkest of nights. A tragedy that all creation groans against.

Yet what is this feeling of embrace I have toward this blackness? Why do I desire its cover?

Where has my love gone? Did I leave it on the way or forget it by the river? Can anyone help me find my love?

Yet it is the blackest of storms with the most dreadful display of soul crushing power. I relinquish my embrace for who can survive this disaster being played out through the ages?

Where has my love gone? I will brave the storm even if it cost me my life. The insanity wrapped up inside this emotion to find my love drives me to the brink of destruction.

Yet I will pursue my love until the storm dies and the blackness fades into a crisp morning sunrise. I will find you my love.

Precious things

I find myself longing each new day for a love that is driving me insane
This love is one like no other!
For I have never seen or heard of her.
I'm waiting but my heart grows fonder.
Yet with all my strength I can not hold this flower.
And even if I do, what will become of things?
For I am incapable of loving and cherishing precious things.
But Christ has given me a new life.
I can live and run in His light.
Now the capability of loving and cherishing precious things rest not in me but in the King of Kings.
I am complete in Him who has called.
So now I wait to love and cherish precious things.

Systematic Theology on the cross? - by: Richard Wurmbrand

"I once tried to explain “systematic theology” to a Russian pastor of the Underground Church, who had never seen a whole New Testament. Systematically, I began to explain to him the teaching about the Godhead, about its unity in three Persons, the teaching about original sin, about the Fall, about salvation, about the Church, about the sacraments, about the Bible as infallible revelation.

He listened attentively. When I had finished, he asked me a most surprising question: “Have those who thought out these theological systems and wrote them down in such perfect order ever carried a cross?” He went on. “A man cannot think systematically even when he has a bad toothache. How can a man who is carrying a cross think systematically? But a Christian has to be more than the bearer of a heavy cross: he shares Christ’s crucifixion. The pains of Christ are his, and the pains of all creation. There is no grief and no suffering in the whole world which should not grieve him also. If a man is crucified with Christ, how can he think systematically? Can there be that kind of thought on a cross?

“Jesus Himself thought unsystematically on the cross. He began with forgiveness; He spoke of a paradise in which even a robber had a place; then He despaired that perhaps there might be no place in paradise even for Him, the Son of God. He felt Himself forsaken. His thirst was so unbearable that He asked for water. Then He surrendered His spirit into His Father’s hand. But there followed no serenity, only a loud cry. Thank you for what you have been trying to teach me. I have the impression that you were only repeating, without much conviction, what others have taught you.”

~Richard Wurmbrand, 1909-2001, founder of VOM, “With God in Solitary Confinement